Are you frustrated with your romantic life?
Did you consider to date someone that you’re not interested in, just to get it over with?
Are you lonely even though you’re dating someone?
Well, this article may be for you, it is really strange even daunting to ignore how society dictates our behaviors and choices in picking our partners Luckily you’re not alone, many people struggle with this issue to the point that we can’t ignore it anymore …
In this day and age, men and women are becoming scarce …don’t get me wrong males and females are everywhere, but strong, successful and mature men, on the other hand, responsible, intelligent and caring women are really declining.
Alright, now we all know where this is going, so I’ll cut to the chase.
First of all let’s identify the problem, or what seems to be the problem.
What’s the problem?
If you find yourself stranded in this situation, let me say that the first and the most important reason is YOU! Yes, you are responsible for your loneliness.
Your persona is the result of your thoughts and values, we can’t be overweight and expect fit people to fall in love with us. We can’t neglect our education and expect educated smart people to find us intellectually intriguing.
Which leads us to the second cause EXPECTATIONS. Both men and women have a lot of expectations from each other to the point that it becomes unrealistic. For instance, a man expects a woman to be beautiful and fit, educated, know how to handle herself in his social circles, didn’t have a promiscuous past and trustworthy.
A woman, on the other hand, expects a man to be reasonably wealthy, physically fit, educated, know how to handle himself in her social circles, young(which conflicts with rich unless he got a small loan of 1 million dollars!) and a self-made man (a guy who can get things done)
All this to say that the expectations are killing your drive to find a partner, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards, on the contrary standards will help you get the right partner, however wishing many contradictory things in the same time, surely not the best way to attain that.
Can we fix this?
social scientists have conducted over 240 studies to determine whether similarity in terms of attitudes, personality traits, outside interests, values and other characteristics leads to attraction.
In 2013, psychologists Matthew Montoya and Robert Horton examined the combined results of these studies in what’s called a meta-analysis. They found an irrefutable association between being similar to and being interested in the other person.
In other words whatever you are is what you can attract, this is a good news btw, it implies that you can actually attract the partner of your dreams if you work on yourself to become the closest in every way possible.
There is clear and convincing evidence that birds of a feather flock together.
Because similarity is associated with attraction, it makes sense that individuals in committed relationships tend to be alike in many ways. (similarity-attraction effect 2013). see table2 below
You will attract what you are, not what you wish for!
The only way for you to find the partner of your dreams is by becoming the partner of your dreams, whatever you think of physically, culturally, intellectually and morally you have to become in order to attract.
leave a comment below on what you think about your relationship after reading this post……